Tag Archives: adoptions

moments, a preface

24 Jul

I was abandoned at birth, a twin baby, they kept my brother with them. I went to an Aunt’s home. Aunt Terry.

As an adult all I have done consciously, and unconsciously, is try to adopt: an orphan, Joey; 30 years of high school students, and their parents. Their hurts. Lonely, hurting people I have tired to adopt, with varying degrees of success over the years; I called them ‘Osewalt daughters; Osewalt sons’ and causes- like abandoned animals. It is a lengthy and involved list- I am sure many have such lists. I won’t bore you with mine.

my Aunt Terry, 22 July 2020

But still, I make promises to hurting, and healthy peoples, spoken and  unspoken, that I could not, did not keep. Even, known and unknown to myself I make such promises. Especially, I think, believe, to myself. 

All my ‘adoptions’ are I see now were, are, my response to being abandoned. They come, in time, – these adoption attempts – after moments of abandoning: a young wife leaves; a son dies; a daughter chooses silence in my relationship to her ( as a sister confronted, when, as my abandoning parents die ). 

Pain; hurts; no sleep or peace. 

Yes, one adoption follows, calls up the other. And the other calls to the first. Abandonments and adoptions, adopting and a bonding together. Their order does not matter. They, for me, will always go together. 

So I reflect on them. I write, listen, reflect again. Again. 

The ‘moments’ shared in this series will be about such reflections, connections. I hope they drop as rain drops.

moments, ‘adopted, not abandoned’

11 Jul
a father, a mother

in the dark night, Sokol’s voice asked me to stop and pause; then as he invited us to be a part of his family, I thought…

an across the street neighbour, Sokol’s father and mother had the virus in 2020. His mother survived; the husband, Sokol’s father didn’t. It has been a year since the father passed. Every weekend this Albanian family goes to Woodlawn Cemetery. They go together. This is how they practice remembering. Now, a year past, they are planning a memorial dinner for family at a hotel in White Plains. A full overflowing dinner, with the whole family. Chicago, New York and Albania. All in. And they want Priscilla and I to attend. It is a week and bit from today, tonight, 17 May. Sokol waited by my porch till 9 pm to ask.

We will gather if I ‘would please come’ on the Saturday of Memorial Day weekend.

the Greek word associated with this time of remembrance, this type of memorial is, ‘anamnesis’ – a definition,

Anamnesis is a Greek word that means “a calling to mind,” from the roots ana-, “back,” and mimneskesthai, “to recall” or “to cause to remember.” Definitions of anamnesis. the ability to recall past occurrences. synonyms: recollection, remembrance. type of: memory, retention, retentiveness, retentivity.

but, the Greek word Sokol and his family is asking me to sit with them, is, I believe, the word ‘Kainos’ and it comes from the ancient Greek, meaning of ‘new’ or ‘fresh.’ They want to keep the father ‘fresh’, alive, and not shrouded in grave clothes. They want me to be ‘fresh’ and alive with them to speak, hear, see and feel. They desire not silences, but songs; not an ending or a closure, but a newness, a beginning.

I, abandoned by my own family, over and over again. Shrouded in their silences and inactions through the last 50 years of my life, now I am adopted by the most unlikely, by aliens and strangers. Abandoned, once, twice, again, again – yet…

I am not, not forgotten. remembered and looked for, waited for on a May night. adopted, not abandoned.

adopted by an Albanian Muslim family. loved. Love.

safe. saved.