the rest is silence …. part 1 of 4

2 Sep

Without knowing till these few present moments, today’s moments, I have lived in fearful abysses composed of, formed by silences. Birthed of years of not being heard, or seen; felt or touched. Not truly remembered, seen, or heard. I emotionally, physically and spiritually lived in abysses- and they were destroying me. And I was not aware consciously of my devolving till this day. My abyss had become my home, my abode. My true abuser.
Hamlet faces abysses also. His final four words are reflected in Roy Batty’s parting thoughts from ‘Blade Runner’ (1982)


“I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe. [laughs] Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched c-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like [coughs] tears in rain. Time to die.”

The fear here is of time’s abyss: all is lost. All.
All is silent. No hears or remembers, deeply.


But, yet…
As a Christian I believe, though I struggle moment by moment with this life forming principle: God is not silent; He wastes nothing. He feels Afghanistan’s hurting peoples as well as me, as well as you. God is one abyss.
Paul in his letter to the Roman churches and people writes, I believe, to those enveloped by silences: me-

28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. ( Romans 8 )

All silences, all things, God ‘works’ for good. I, we, just have to love him. Live with him; rest with, rest in the silences he gifts me. He is with me in my silent abysses.

He…
with me. And that is enough.

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