Archive | May, 2021

remembrance, Joey

31 May

Joey always wanted to be a soldier, a Green Beret. When we adopted him in his 14th year, we heard his desire to graduate high school; enlist as soon as possible and grow into a USA army officer.


But we talked him into trying college, Houghton College in Upstate New York, for a year. He met his wife, Rachel, there; marries at 20 and they separated at 21.
Called up to a formation exercise while station at Fort Bragg, NC, Joey drove in the 5 am deep darkness of 10 May 1996, took a turn on a curve road by a creek in a borrowed car, overturned into the creek’s waters and drowned.
He was almost 22.


He never fought in a conflict for his country; he owned a home in North Carolina that was two weeks from foreclosure; nor did he have many male army friends. He was truly alone.


When I met with Joey’s commanding officer, it was to pick up his body. I was in North Carolina with his mother Priscilla, my wife, and Rachel, the wife he was separated from. His commander told me, ‘Corporal Johansen was just young and angry. He would have grown out of it in time.’
Time, the one gift that might assist in Joey’s life, I could not give him. I gave him what I thought would heal, at least help in healing, of his physical hurts, his sexual abuse, his life addictions and pains.
A car; ( a prime condition Cutlass Supreme ) and a home; a leather jacket and a college education; a wedding and 3 adoring younger sisters ( one of them, Deirdra, named her second son ‘Johansen’ in Hero’s middle name ).

Hero Johansen.


When I reached the Funeral Home to retrieve Joey’s body to return to his NYC home, I was alone with his Commander. Priscilla and Rachel did not go with us as they were unsure what Joey’s body would look like.
They were hurting.

So was I. Unsure of the damages.


The Funeral Director greeted us. A woman of about 30, she lead us to Joey’s room. Before I entered, she paused and said ‘You can go in by yourself first if you like, to have a private, personal moment.’

I paused. The Commander nodded agreeing with her suggestion. Moving toward the closed door, I stopped and turned to the Director, and asked,

‘Pardon, but have have never met a woman Funeral Director before. How did you come to this profession?’

She smiled, ‘I know it is unusual. Three years ago by baby girl, Sara, died suddenly, unexpectedly. I could find no peace. Not in church or in counselling; not with friends or family. The worship at my church was beautiful but loud. I couldn’t sit still. I needed quiet. I started attending a Roman Catholic service, the Mass. I found the quiet helpful. Peaceful. And I felt God speaking to me one day in church,

“‘ Now you can help others to rest.’“


‘And so I opened this Funeral home. A home for the hurting….can I tell you something? I never do this, but I feel I need to tell you. When I was fixing your son’s body, I felt as though there was a lot of anger, hate, in him. But as I moved him, I felt his hurts, his angers, leaving him. And that he was at piece.’

I said thank you and went in alone. His body had not a scratch on him. He was knocked unconscious and drowned in the waters. He felt at rest. Peace.

Some soldiers fight in both outside and internal wars. But all struggle with the internal. All.

This Memorial Day I remember Joey. He struggled; he fought; he lost and won. But at the end, his very end, God gifted him peace, release. Healing. I had not adopted Joey; I could not give him peace. God did. Jesus did.

“And this is the testimony: God has given us eternal life, and this life is in his Son.” 1 John 5: 11

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the Lord God counsels, – thus, speak to me, my Lord from Job 38,

18 May


Then the Lord spoke to Job out of the storm. He said:

2 “Who is this that obscures my plans

with words without knowledge?
3 Brace yourself like a man;
I will question you,
and you shall answer me. 4 “Where were you ….

We do not know how long Job suffered; or sat in ashes; or how long he suffered alone and with his friends. It could have been a week. Or longer.

Job 7:3 states, “I have been allotted months of futility, and nights of misery have been assigned to me.”

So, how long? How long did Job wait to hear from his God? In suffering? Are these metaphorical months, or actual ones? We don’t know. Except, we do know that this waiting that whatever the time was, we know it must have seemed an eternity. An eternity of suffering, an eternity of time…
And in a moment, He speaks; the Lord speaks wisdom, “Who is this that obscures my plans with words without knowledge?”

The Lord’s plans have not been spoken in words to Job; He has spoked though in every specific moment and event, every action and pain of Job’s sitting in time’s ashes.
David, as priest and prophet, sings in Psalm 16: 7 – “I will praise the Lord, who counsels me; even at night my heart instructs me.”


Here, the Lord’s counsel is defined. All moments, even those of sleep, has the Lord touching and speaking in and to our hearts. How do we know He speaks, counsels?

Because, as David, when we awake praise Him; sing a song to Him; feel and know Him through all he allows, places and acts in our lives. We feel him.


Out of life’s whirlwinds, He speaks, whispers, shouts and moves.

So, we pray,
“Help me not to darken your counsel, your words, movements, acts and seemingly silences, with my questions, my doubts. Help me to hold onto to all you place within and without my heart. Counsel me my Lord.”

Counsel me

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a touch, before Joseph’s passing, life, from the Lord touches

3 May
from Genesis 50


22 ‘Joseph stayed in Egypt, along with all his father’s family. He lived a hundred and ten years 23 and saw the third generation of Ephraim’s children. Also the children of Makir son of Manasseh were placed at birth on Joseph’s knees.’

On Sunday 2 May the news show 60 minutes had a doctor speak about why he fought so hard and long with the American government to reveal the seriousness of the COVID 19 pandemic.
Carter Mecher stated in response to John Dickerson’s question: “Michael ( Lewis ) writes that all of you are motivated by your, your love of life. Do you agree with that characterization?

Dr. Carter Mecher: My training was in critical care medicine, so I operated ICUs. And in an ICU, what I got to see and what I got to witness was the final struggle for a lotta human beings. I got to see the last, last days, last weeks, last moments of a lot of people. And, you know, in sports they talk about, you know (emotional) – sorry. They talk about, like, you know, players leaving it all on the field. And you know when I would see these patients in the ICU, I would watch them in that struggle. And they left everything on the field, everything. And you know, my question for us is, almost 600,000 people in this country have left everything on the field. And the question is, have we?”

Joseph answers the doctor’s question.

Joseph of Genesis, betrayed and rejected by his family; enslaved and in- prisoned within a foreign people, Egyptians; rescues all. He rescues, as a trope of Christ Jesus, Egyptians and his family Israel; himself and the world; his earthy father Jacob, and his future descendants.
Joseph leaves all on his field, his world of famine. And in doing so, so rescues. How?

He rescues by touch and forgiveness you, me, all. Joseph left nothing, leaves nothing on the field.


In these days of Zoom, where we long for community; for face to face moments and experiences, where we desire to remove our masks, Joseph feels his great grand children on his body, his knees.
He feels here the enduring, eternal, everlasting arms of our Lord, the promise of a personal life with the Saviour Jesus to come, on his knees as he rests.
And he will return home.

What joy. How loved. Touched, Joseph lives.

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