2 must do in marriage; with partners ‘giving the best I got’

25 Feb

In previous blogs we looked at getting her (or him) to ‘yes’ and, its opposite, how we point loved ones toward ‘no.’ These blogs are not about ‘just dating’ but about everyday real partnerships: everyday relationships. Long term loves. So, in the Venn diagram of ‘yes and no,’ here are two last bits of advice-the middle bit.

Where and when did I get these advice insights? I got them when I was at my lowest, when I was separated from a partner and going through a messy divorce. Sometimes, the greatest emptiness produces the most overflow. And simply, simple truths.

First, feeling guilty about whether I did all I could do to keep the marriage together, I couldn’t sleep at night and called our marriage counselor. I asked, ‘Keith, did I give Barbara 100%?’ Did I give our relationship all I had?’

Keith’s response: ‘Charlie I don’t know what a 100% looks like. I know that you did the best with what you had at the time. That’s all that could be done by anyone.’ Stop the guilt; give yourself grace.

Second, when, how, do you love when you don’t feel it? When your wine glasses are empty?

Listen to Anita Baker’s ‘Giving you the best I got.’ Then, listen again. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aQiMhAUJNMo Then give. Dance with them as though they aren’t there and no one is watching. Not even you. Give, dance. You are the best.

Nothing more is needed.

‘Giving you the best I got.’ Lyrics here http://www.metrolyrics.com/giving-you-the-best-that-i-got-lyrics-anita-baker.html

 

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