Archive | June, 2013
Aside

Meditation 5: fruits of the spirit, patience In 1996

25 Jun

Meditation 5: fruits of the spirit, patience

In 1996 my wife, Priscilla had great plans to return to her birthplace, Galway. Her grandfather had survived the sinking of the Titanic and married a Galway girl in America. Neither of them ever wanted to return but their children did. Plans were made for this momentous visit to Ireland along with three of her ten siblings and her Mum.

It was not to be for Priscilla. Her Lupus kicked in with a vengeance and getting out of bed was journey enough in the ’90s.

So this year we planned to go. Excited, Priscilla spoke of walking to her home on St. John’s Terrace; knocking on neighbours’ doors; being invited in; having tea, viewing old photographs.

With over 50 years having passed since she was there, every word she spoke sunk my heart further. How could a neighbour be still alive? And recognise her? I didn’t see it. All I saw was disappointment for my lovely wife of thirty years. I said nothing and prepared to rescue her sorrows.

At the second door Priscilla knocked on, a lady called Sally answered. Sally said nothing. She cried. Priscilla cried. Not a word was spoken.

I stood with my mouth open, unable to move. Thank God our daughter Sarah was with us and had the presence of mind to take the picture you see here.

Sally invited us in for tea. She’d recognised Priscilla immediately because she’s the image of her best friend, Marian. Priscilla’s mum. Sally took out some old photos to show us and gave us some to take away. Some were of Eugene Daly: Priscilla’s grandfather who survived the Titanic.

I can have faith in big things: Jesus died for me; He loves me; Priscilla and my children love me. But the desires of others? Their visions and beliefs?

Priscilla knew by the Spirit someone would be there. In the Spirit Sally waited for 17 years for someone to return from the Joyce family. They saw and believed.

In Luke 2 Anna and Simeon wait with the Spirit for a glimpse of the Messiah before they passed from this world. The Spirit was with, on and within them.

Patiently, they waited and waited. They held true to the vision they had been given; then moved by the Spirit, they saw. As prophets they spoke and speak to us now of what He gave them to see. Priscilla held true to a vision; Sally held to an image; I-I had nothing in my hand.

Praise him that now I have a touch from him: a patient touch of a God who sees and gives vision glimpses even to those to impatient to stop & see. Even to me.

Waiting, it is enough to see as the Spirit sees.

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meditation 4

12 Jun

Meditation 4: his last breath, his last miracle
What is a miracle? The Oxford English dictionary defines a miracle as, “A marvellous event not ascribable to human power or the operation of any natural force and therefore attributed to supernatural, demonstrating control over nature and serving as evidence that the agent is either divine or divinely favoured.”
In Luke 23: 34 Jesus performs his last miracle. He forgives. Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.”

In control as Lord God over his human nature; Jesus 100% God; 100% man forgives. This is Jesus last miracle. From the cross he loves; from pain he embraces; to us he gives the miracle of forgiveness. Breathe miracles of forgiveness with words and actions.
Lord, breathe with me. Breathe on me.

meditiation 3c: forgiveness

4 Jun

Meditation 3c: forgivenes

Though I couldn’t eat, I also couldn’t stop vomiting. At times I had to stop my orange beetle Volkswagen; pull over with the driver door open and vomit in the street. I then keep driving. What was coming up?
The day Barbara came home and told me that she thought she was in love with someone else. This moment, this past, kept coming up. I couldn’t keep it down. I was empty, sick, alone. We had been married for almost seven years. I had built my emotional, social and-to some degree-my professional life around our relationship. After a year of marriage counselling, we broke up.
Bitter through the deceit, lies and betrayal, I clung to my new faith. Jesus was rejected; he knew what I was feeling and going through: no home; lost of common friends; no money. It was and still is a death.
I buried myself in the scriptures searching for words that condemned Barbara. Finally, I found the words I was searching for:
“If anyone turns a deaf ear to the law, even his prayers are detestable.” Proverbs 28:9
God would not hear her, the guilty one, only me the innocent. I shared this verse, the first I ever memorized our counsellor. Shifting in his chair, Keith said, “It would be good for Barbara to come to you, and to me, to ask for forgiveness for the deceit in and outside of our counselling. But she doesn’t have to. The only person she absolutely needs to go to is God.”
As soon as Keith said this I saw what I was asking and understood what I needed to give.
I was asking to sit in as God. I was the one to grant forgiveness. I could withhold it if I didn’t feel the sincerity of the request or if I simply didn’t want to give it. What I needed to do in order to heal was to give it over to God; to grant unconditional forgiveness before it was asked for-or even if it was never asked for.
I prayed and gave forgiveness to Barbara that night. I’ve always remembered the verse I first memorized. At the beginning of my walk with Jesus, I was ashamed that I memorized this verse. I couldn’t forget it, though I tired. Slowly, I saw this verse as being dear for me. It is my message from Him to walk in the spirit of forgiveness daily; to always hear and feel the other; to understand that all forgiveness comes from Him and not man. And thankfully it always will.